RUSSIAN OLYMPIC STRATEGY

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REMEMBER WHEN THE USSR would send athletes to the Olympics and they looked like manufactured humanoid robots? The women looked like dudes and the guys looked freakish. I could swear that some of the swimmers had gills. All of them were “pros” in the sense that they were paid by the Commies to perform and win – at all costs.

No one that wasn’t blind doubted that they were juiced. The IOC finally cracked down and got better at testing for PEDs. The Commies medal count fell, then the Commie Empire fell, but that didn’t stop the Russians from cheating. This Summer the Russians were banned from the Rio Olympics for various sports and now the Paralympics have totally banned Russia from the Para-games because they are doping, their handicapped athletes. Wrap your head around that – a country is doping athletes to win at para-games. You have to be a special kind of awful to dope handicapped athletes to beat other handicapped athletes, but that’s Russia, they don’t give a shit about rules, they just want to win…

 

RYAN LOCHTE

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RYAN LOCHTE was too drunk to consider the ramifications of tearing down a Motor Oil Poster while black-out drunk. He likely can’t spell ramifications, maybe not even black-out – but the aftermath should have been obvious to even an addled Ryan Lochte. If you are a Sponsored Athlete,  get black-out drunk and trash a local gas station but pay for the damages and immediately admit that you used poor judgment, you likely won’t lose your endorsements. If, on the other hand, you trash a local gas station refused to act contrite, lie to your mother then lie to the press, you’re likely going to lose your sugar daddy sponsors; and that’s what has happened to Lochte.

Sponsors, endorse people to make money. If you’re an idiot and act badly you’re going to lose your endorsements. Maybe Lochte should consider A Bail Bondsman perhaps an endorsement deal with a Rehab Center. A business article I read put his endorsement contracts in the 2.5 Million per year category, and they are all leaving – so the poster Lochte tore off that wall will likley cost him 3 – 5 million if not more.

The coverup is often worse than the thing being covered up… Lochte is about to be covered up in Sponsor discontent.

Gabby Douglas

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GABBY DOUGLAS went from Glamour and Gold last Olympics to a Footnote in Rio. Internet Troll were all over her for not goose-stepping to their preconceived notion of respect for mates and country, so she was vilified on Social Media with nasty hashtags. Gabby explained that she loved her mates and her country but the Trolls kept coming and she broke down and cried.

I’m not shy about criticizing athletes — when they deserve it, Hope Solo (kinda my job); but that’s not the case with Douglas. She was disappointed and, perhaps, acted publicly disappointed – but she wasn’t disrespectful and un-patriotic, she was just bummed. That’s being human, not a jerk like Hope Solo. Big difference.

But, Trolls are gonna troll. It’s what they do.

CUPPING FOR GOLD

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MICHAEL PHELPS and other Olympic American Swimmers are “cupping”. It’s an “ancient” Chinese method of drawing blood away from muscles to help muscles heal. I think it’s nonsense, but what do I know, I haven’t won Gold Medals.

What am I certain of? That crazy moms across America are checking Amazon, looking for “cupping” kits so they can start cupping their future Olympians (and their ticket to fame). Oh, its gonna happen – likely already is happening. There is no shortage of nutty helicopter parents out there who will do anything to get their kid on a national stage, and the camera on them in the stands.

DAILY NEWS

THE GOLD STANDARD

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MICHAEL PHELPS was trolled by rival CHAD le CLOS. Le Clos Shadow Boxed in front of Phelps in the Ready Room and did other silly boneheaded things that did nothing but motivate and infuriate Phelps. The “#PHELPSFACE hashtag  was popular – a photo of Phelps looking nasty.  Le Clos continued with the his antics right before the finals, staring at Phelps before they took to the blocks. None of it helped.

Phelps won his 20th Gold Medal with le Clos finishing in fourth, earning him a “Participation Ribbon”.

LILLY KING – OLYMPIAN

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LILLY KING doesn’t much like Russian cheater Yulia Efimova. During qualifying, when Efimova raised her finger signaling she was #1, Lilly wagged her finger back and forth in disgust to let the cheater know – no you are not number 1.

On Monday King threw some shade all over the reining World Champion and known cheater Efimova by winning the Breast Stroke in convincing fashion. Congrats Lilly.