RIO

RUSSIAN OLYMPIC STRATEGY

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REMEMBER WHEN THE USSR would send athletes to the Olympics and they looked like manufactured humanoid robots? The women looked like dudes and the guys looked freakish. I could swear that some of the swimmers had gills. All of them were “pros” in the sense that they were paid by the Commies to perform and win – at all costs.

No one that wasn’t blind doubted that they were juiced. The IOC finally cracked down and got better at testing for PEDs. The Commies medal count fell, then the Commie Empire fell, but that didn’t stop the Russians from cheating. This Summer the Russians were banned from the Rio Olympics for various sports and now the Paralympics have totally banned Russia from the Para-games because they are doping, their handicapped athletes. Wrap your head around that – a country is doping athletes to win at para-games. You have to be a special kind of awful to dope handicapped athletes to beat other handicapped athletes, but that’s Russia, they don’t give a shit about rules, they just want to win…

 

S.O.P.

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LOS ANGELES WANTS THE OLYMPICS. There are other cities that want the Olympics too. My suggestion for LA. Shrink-Wrap plenty of money put it on an unmarked cargo plane headed to the home offices of the IOC in Lausanne Switzerland… Just sayin — you might be the “winning bid”.

If it acts like a crook and quacks like a crook….

 

 

THE GOLD STANDARD

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Phelps

MICHAEL PHELPS was trolled by rival CHAD le CLOS. Le Clos Shadow Boxed in front of Phelps in the Ready Room and did other silly boneheaded things that did nothing but motivate and infuriate Phelps. The “#PHELPSFACE hashtag  was popular – a photo of Phelps looking nasty.  Le Clos continued with the his antics right before the finals, staring at Phelps before they took to the blocks. None of it helped.

Phelps won his 20th Gold Medal with le Clos finishing in fourth, earning him a “Participation Ribbon”.

OLYMPIC CAULDRON

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TODAY IS OPENING CEREMONIES DAY. And today is the day for the Olympic Flame Cauldron Reveal. Rio’s Flame with buck tradition with the flame, not at the Track Stadium rather in Downtown Rio.

Rio was supposed to be the Games to push environmental activism. Rio’s medals are made of recycled metals. The ribbons are made from recycled plastic. The irony is, of course, the Games are an environmental  poopy  mess of the water venues  full of garbage with raw sewage spewing into the Bay.

The world doesn’t know what the Cauldron will look like – yet. I envision a giant Toilet and the eternal gas being, Methane.

RIO OLYMPICS

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THE RIO OLYMPICS will be a “success”, if its not a total disaster. Brazil is a stinky pile of poop. The President has been impeached, the economy is in a shambles, ISIS is threatening to attack, the Rio Gangs are back in power and the Army can’t control them. Athletes arriving in Rio have found their living accommodations to be 3rd world status, with waste coming out of plumbing, open and exposed electrical lines and broken… everything.  ZIKA mosquitos are waiting for tasty arms and legs. Open sewage draining into the bay. Some delegations members have already been robbed, and the Games haven’t even started.

Start the Conga line its A RIO PARTY!