RYAN LOCHTE

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RYAN LOCHTE was too drunk to consider the ramifications of tearing down a Motor Oil Poster while black-out drunk. He likely can’t spell ramifications, maybe not even black-out – but the aftermath should have been obvious to even an addled Ryan Lochte. If you are a Sponsored Athlete,  get black-out drunk and trash a local gas station but pay for the damages and immediately admit that you used poor judgment, you likely won’t lose your endorsements. If, on the other hand, you trash a local gas station refused to act contrite, lie to your mother then lie to the press, you’re likely going to lose your sugar daddy sponsors; and that’s what has happened to Lochte.

Sponsors, endorse people to make money. If you’re an idiot and act badly you’re going to lose your endorsements. Maybe Lochte should consider A Bail Bondsman perhaps an endorsement deal with a Rehab Center. A business article I read put his endorsement contracts in the 2.5 Million per year category, and they are all leaving – so the poster Lochte tore off that wall will likley cost him 3 – 5 million if not more.

The coverup is often worse than the thing being covered up… Lochte is about to be covered up in Sponsor discontent.

S.O.P.

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LOS ANGELES WANTS THE OLYMPICS. There are other cities that want the Olympics too. My suggestion for LA. Shrink-Wrap plenty of money put it on an unmarked cargo plane headed to the home offices of the IOC in Lausanne Switzerland… Just sayin — you might be the “winning bid”.

If it acts like a crook and quacks like a crook….

 

 

CUPPING FOR GOLD

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MICHAEL PHELPS and other Olympic American Swimmers are “cupping”. It’s an “ancient” Chinese method of drawing blood away from muscles to help muscles heal. I think it’s nonsense, but what do I know, I haven’t won Gold Medals.

What am I certain of? That crazy moms across America are checking Amazon, looking for “cupping” kits so they can start cupping their future Olympians (and their ticket to fame). Oh, its gonna happen – likely already is happening. There is no shortage of nutty helicopter parents out there who will do anything to get their kid on a national stage, and the camera on them in the stands.

DAILY NEWS

THE GOLD STANDARD

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MICHAEL PHELPS was trolled by rival CHAD le CLOS. Le Clos Shadow Boxed in front of Phelps in the Ready Room and did other silly boneheaded things that did nothing but motivate and infuriate Phelps. The “#PHELPSFACE hashtag  was popular – a photo of Phelps looking nasty.  Le Clos continued with the his antics right before the finals, staring at Phelps before they took to the blocks. None of it helped.

Phelps won his 20th Gold Medal with le Clos finishing in fourth, earning him a “Participation Ribbon”.

LILLY KING – OLYMPIAN

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LILLY KING doesn’t much like Russian cheater Yulia Efimova. During qualifying, when Efimova raised her finger signaling she was #1, Lilly wagged her finger back and forth in disgust to let the cheater know – no you are not number 1.

On Monday King threw some shade all over the reining World Champion and known cheater Efimova by winning the Breast Stroke in convincing fashion. Congrats Lilly.

Brazilian Hecklers

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HOPE SOLO, the US Soccer Keeper made a comment joked about Zika right before the first match. The Brazilians didn’t like it. Brazilians don’t like to be reminded that Rio dumps it’s saw human poop and garbage into it’s Bay, or that Gangs control about a 1/5 of Rio, or that their president was impeached, or their economy is in shambles… or Zika mosquitos are dive-bombing the Games.

So Brazil’s revenge? During the Americans first match, Brazilian Hecklers Yelled “ZIKA, ZIKA” at Hope Solo while she was in goal. I frankly don’t get the chant. Why they think that that might effect her play is beyond me. It’s not creative,  or original. If Solo had mocked Rio’s open sewage spewing into the Bay, would Brazilians have thought themselves clever chanting “Shit in the Bay… Shit in the Bay?”.

OLYMPIC CAULDRON

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TODAY IS OPENING CEREMONIES DAY. And today is the day for the Olympic Flame Cauldron Reveal. Rio’s Flame with buck tradition with the flame, not at the Track Stadium rather in Downtown Rio.

Rio was supposed to be the Games to push environmental activism. Rio’s medals are made of recycled metals. The ribbons are made from recycled plastic. The irony is, of course, the Games are an environmental  poopy  mess of the water venues  full of garbage with raw sewage spewing into the Bay.

The world doesn’t know what the Cauldron will look like – yet. I envision a giant Toilet and the eternal gas being, Methane.

RIO OLYMPICS

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THE RIO OLYMPICS will be a “success”, if its not a total disaster. Brazil is a stinky pile of poop. The President has been impeached, the economy is in a shambles, ISIS is threatening to attack, the Rio Gangs are back in power and the Army can’t control them. Athletes arriving in Rio have found their living accommodations to be 3rd world status, with waste coming out of plumbing, open and exposed electrical lines and broken… everything.  ZIKA mosquitos are waiting for tasty arms and legs. Open sewage draining into the bay. Some delegations members have already been robbed, and the Games haven’t even started.

Start the Conga line its A RIO PARTY!