SKIP BAYLESS – AMERICAN SUCCESS STORY

SKIPSKIP BAYLESS is a hero of mine. Oh, not because he’s bright, talented, funny or entertaining or for that matter, because he’s good at his job. He’s none of those things. No it’s because he made it to the top of sports commentary for being just the opposite. Bayless is a professional troll. A nincapoop who made it. A boob who makes millions being a lighting-rod of stupidity.

Bayless isn’t just frequently wrong, he’s almost always wrong. Recently he criticized Carson Wentz for getting “stripped” of the ball during a blow-out win. Expect, Wentz wasn’t stripped-sacked. Wentz wasn’t in the game, his backup was. Skippy doesn’t really pay attention to reality, because reality is boring. Reality requires thoughtful commentary. It’s much easier to be dumb as a post and comment on made up stuff. And Skippy really doesn’t care if he’s wrong, because in 5 minutes he’ll be wrong about something new. In that respect Skippy has the “shame” memory of a goldfish. He’s forgets how dumb he is in 30 seconds and moves on to the next dumb comment.

So, why do I say Bayless is my hero? Because, only in America can a man as dumb as Skippy make it to the top. He’s made a fortune notwithstanding being Skippy, and how great is that. Skippy should inspire millions of idiot, trolls and dolts to reach the top of the mountain. So many boobs should turn to Skippy as an example and say: “If Skippy can do it – well, by golly so can I!”.

 

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A HUCKSTER HAS TAKEN OVER ESPN

LAVAR BALL is brilliant and in a awful sort of way. Because he a bigmouth huckster with a talented son he’s taken over ESPN. You cannot go one day without seeing a new story, new video clip or some idiotic quote by LaVar Ball on ESPN. 

He’s the Kardashian of Sports. Empty-headed vapid garbage TV, and its all “owned” by ESPN.

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ESPN FACE-PLANTS…again

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ESPN can’t seem to stop stepping on rakes. It hired Barstool Personalities to do a Show on ESPN, and when President of ESPN finally woke up and discovered what Barstool Sports does for a living, it canceled the show – after one episode.

Personally I was waiting for the implosion around week three.

This should not have happened. Not because the show is bad, it’s because ESPN should have known what they were buying into before it hit the air. It’s like hiring OJ to do a “Justice in America” Show and then canceling after one episode because you just found out OJ is felon.

 

KEVIN “TWITTER” DURANT

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KEVIN DURANT has multiple twitter accounts and all but one are his alter-egos. His alter-egos defend his rep by blasting trolls and “haters”. Imagine making 30 Million a year and being so insecure that you feel the need to check twitter for negative mentions and then responding to tweets with an alter-ego rant defending yourself. So time-consuming and silly.

 

ESPN VIRTUE-SIGNALING

dippMONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL 2017 started with CHARGERS V BRONCOS, but the game was overshadowed by ESPN’s new  sideline reporter Sergio Dipp. Mr. Dipp was nothing short of a spectacular failure. He sounded like a bad imitation of Ron Burgundy after 4 scotches. Twitter lit up and Sergio followed up with a virtue-sigaling speech from his hotel room in which he explained (in 2 minutes of halting monologuing)  his desire to be a champion of diversity, like the two black coaches who were coaching the game on the field. Huh?

Dipp didn’t get trashed on twitter because Dipp is a minority. In fact the only thing “minority” about him, it seems, is that English is not his primary language and  American Football is not his primary sport. He got trashed because he botched the assignment. He was completely out of his element. He had trouble reciting his lines. He lots his place multiple times. His cadence was terrible. His accent pretty apparent.  He got confused when stadium noise ticked up. He blathered some gibberish about the two coaches being black, and then disappeared for the rest of the game. “What. The Fuck… was that?” was American’s reaction.

ESPN, of course defended its decision to employ Dipp as their new high-profile on-air personality notwithstanding his spectacular failure. ESPN fired a bunch of very talented on-air personalities which makes Dipp’s hire baffling. He’s not even close to being ready for primetime. Yet, talented people who could have taken his sideline duties (who happened to be, for the most part white) watched MNF from a couch because ESPN fired them. ESPN can’t afford actual talent but apparently can afford hiring Dipp. Yes, his name is Dipp.

Makes no sense, but that is the state of ESPN in 2017

 

ESCORT MR. FREEZE TO THE DOOR…

I’m not a fan of liars and hypocrites. Hugh Freeze quit is job today as head coach of Ole Miss football. Freeze is married and a church guy. For me, that means you keep your dick in your pants unless it’s your wife your pulling it out for.

Freeze claims he “pocket dialed” the escort service and it was clearly a mistake. I’m a lawyer, so the first questions I’d ask Mr. Freeze are:

So you pocket dialed an escort service. Are you claiming you ass randomly dialed an escort service with a local area code, or was the number in your contacts?

Oh, the number wasn’t in your contacts, so if I took a peek at your phone records, that number will only appear once – right? And your credit card statements won’t show any record for a purchase of “goods” – right?

No one believes you Mr. Freeze.

 

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