THE THRONE OF KING JAMES

King James throne

King James aka THE HEIR to THE THRONE OF EXCUSES. KING JAMES offering his subjects the:  “I am # 1” salute.

For all his immense size and talent, there seems only one thing bigger – LeBron James ability to turn off fans and embolden critics with his complaints from his throne of excuses. With that said – LeBron, please bring your kingdom to LA… please?

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PARDON THE PARODY

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TRUMP announced that he was considering a pardon for Muhammad Ali. Ali’s conviction was overturned on appeal. Imagine the exchange:

Trump: I am going to pardon the greatest in the bigliest pardon in the history of pardoning

Aid: Um, Ali’s conviction was overturned – there is no conviction to pardon, Mr President.

Trump: Pardon me?

DUEL FOR LOS ANGELES

 

 

Shootout

ZLATAN IBRAHIMOVIC hit LA like a thunderbolt last Saturday. Everyone, it seemed, thought he was the anointed owner of LA Sports. Well… until baseball season started. Then SHOHEI OHTANI pulled out his weapons and is doing Babe Ruthian things – bashing homers throwing 99MPH fastballs & breaking wrists with sick sinkers.

There can only be one Sheriff in HYPETOWN. Let the showdown begin!

Zlatan Ibrahimović the Soothsayer

Zoltar

His Full Page Ad in the LA Times with: “YOU’RE WELCOME” is pure Ibrahimovic – bold yet simple… I’m here LA… you’re welcome.

He showed off his old striker skills, willing  his prediction to reality, bringing the Galaxy back to life for a stunning win.  “YOU’RE WELCOME” LA

LA sports fans might soon realize that, like Ndamukong Suh The Great Zlatan comes with a “stompy foot” dark side. Both are as apt to dazzle as stomp an opponent’s hand. I predict a mixed bag of striking balls, busted chops and stomped on feet.

You’re Welcome, LA.

Rick Pitino’s Tat

Patino

RICK PITINO’S back-tat is missing a whore. Louisville has been stripped of it honor, integrity and title. Stripped bare of Pitino, but Coach Rick will always have his tat. At least he won’t have to see it everyday – unless he sees it in the mirror – backwards. Kinda fitting

Add a “No Regerts” tattoo would be fitting postscript to the Pitino era.

How’s it feel coach?

“No Regerts” bro!

Bye Rick!

 

HELICOPTER PARENTING

BBBHelo

WHAT IS THE WORST THING about LaVar Ball? It’s not that his carney-barking or hacking overpriced shoes or his twitter arguments with Trump – it’s that he’s a shitty parent.

I don’t know more than what I see in media but he (and his invisible wife) seem to have produced one son (Lonzo) who can play in the NBA and make his own way. LiAngelo seems to be a D-League human who will do and say what his dad tells him to say. Melo is the youngest and seems to be fully developed Duchenozzle. He’s learned from his dad the value of being a prick and now that his pops has pulled out of school and prevented from playing in college, he develop in a socially stunted duchenozzle.

So, off to Lithuania in in the winter for the Balls boys to play organized street-ball with a bunch of 3rd rate Euro slugs who couldn’t playing in the US. Super move LaVar! Your helicopter parenting is catching up to you and your kids and no amount of money will change the fact that you’ve ruined them. One hopes that Lonzo breaks from his father and turns into a decent man.

2017 HEISMAN to BAKER MAYFIELD

Heisman2017

BAKER MAYFIELD is the most impactful player in college football. He’s also passionate volatile and, a winner. Mayfield was the first walk-on to win the Heisman so it’s little wonder why he has a chip on his shoulder and, on occasion is passion spills over.

During the Kansas v Oklahoma game Mayfield was dissed by the J-Hawks and he turned the favor by grabbing his nut-sack and yelling “fuck you”.

To all the Naysayers – Baker Mayfield salutes you.